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What does my childhood have to do with my leadership?

Amazed boyBy Shayne Hughes

 

“That’s just the way he is.”

How many times have you heard or uttered that phrase?

John is a risk-averse CFO, unwilling to make a decision without all facts. Linda, in operations, is conflict-averse; everyone knows she won’t address personnel problems or speak up in meetings. Only God knows what she’s really thinking.

And then there’s Mike, the judgmental and sarcastic CEO. Don’t ever reveal a weakness in his presence.

We tend to use shorthand labels to summarize people as their most prominent dysfunction. We see them as static beings acting illogically. Hidden is how these personality tendencies are the tip of the iceberg of their inner emotional landscape.

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By Shayne Hughes   May 22, 2013   Category: Ego, Organizational Development, Team Building   No Comments comments

Finding Your Groove in Giving Performance Reviews

iStock_000011366450SmallBy Filaree Radich

“It’s that time again. Ugh.” In a recent coaching call, one of my clients expressed a familiar dissatisfaction. It was performance review time, and he had several performance reviews to prepare. He was concerned that he was going to spend a lot of time preparing and giving the reviews, but that it was not going to truly provide value or motivate his direct reports to grow in the way he needed them to. With certain reports, he had a prior history of unproductive or tense performance reviews.

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By Filaree Radich   March 17, 2013   Category: Changing Behaviors, Ego, Goals & Purpose, Organizational Development, Team Building   1 Comment comments

Owning Mistakes Allows New Possibilities

owning mistakesBy Shayne Hughes, CEO, Learning as Leadership

“You don’t think I’m embarrassed having my wings clipped?!” Bill’s voice cracked as he spoke to the executive team. “Coming in here every day, knowing what I did?”

The team fell silent as the gruff second-in-command pulled his glasses off and wiped his eyes. The CEO, who had just pushed Bill to discuss with the team his transgression that had angered their largest client , watched intently.

Bill had relished his own take-no-prisoners persona – until he went too far and the client finally declared it could ‘take-no-more’ and threatened to pull all their business. As the team scrambled to manage the crisis, hallway recriminations flew furiously. It even spilled into a board meeting.

Bill had met with each member of the management team individually, and assured the CEO that tensions were resolved. His boss wasn’t so confident. “You’re sure you have nothing to say to the entire team?”

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By Shayne Hughes   March 11, 2013   Category: Ego, Goals & Purpose, Organizational Development, Team Building   No Comments comments

Is technology interfering with your relationships?

tech impacts intimacy

Listen to LaL CEO Shayne Hughes tell NPR’s Rachel Martin on Weekend Edition how technology impacts relationships and about his experiment banning internal email at LaL for a week.

Click Here to Listen

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By Shayne Hughes   February 11, 2013   Category: Changing Behaviors, Ego, Goals & Purpose, Organizational Development, Team Building   No Comments comments

Setting Limits to Others’ Anger

anger #2 - shayneThis blog post is the second in a series on anger. The previous post, “Damn, I just lost my temper again” delved into the difficulties of mastering our own anger. Below, I explore setting limits when others get angry with us or around us.

What do you do when someone gets angry with you?

Freeze, go into paralysis, and try to escape the danger as quickly as possible?

Or tense with adrenalin, your skin turning red, and raise your voice right back? Fight frustration with irritation?

Our usual responses do not work

In reviewing my own experience and the hundreds of leaders and employees, parents and children I have worked with over the years, our predominant reactions to anger tend to be flight or fight. Both of these self-protective responses are counterproductive.

If I shut down and play small, waiting for the storm to pass, I allow the other person’s anger to persist. There is no opposition or limit provided, and this can allow abusive relationships to form, whether physical, emotional and/or verbal.

If I “get emotional” in response, the conflict often escalates. It is rare that workplace anger goes beyond words, but it does lead us to say things we don’t mean. Relationships are strained, baggage forms, and months or years later, unhealed exchanges of anger linger.

Many of us do both, depending on the situation and the person. We are threatened, and the survival instincts of our brainstem take over.

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By Shayne Hughes   January 28, 2013   Category: Ego, Goals & Purpose, Team Building, Transformational Leadership   5 Comments comments

The Secret to Giving Transformational Feedback

feedback - jonRecently while I was collecting feedback from a colleague of a client as part of an in-depth 360º assessment, I was struck by something rare: The opinions she shared were unusually direct, detailed and thoughtful, yet clearly coming from a place of love and compassion for our client.

In my role as a 360º feedback specialist, I have spoken to literally thousands of bosses, colleagues, customers and loved ones of clients, and few have been as dialed-in as that feedback-giver. What does she know that others don’t? What distinguishes constructive – even transformational – feedback from the more indirect, diluted or overly harsh kind?

 The answer lies in our ability to understand and stay connected to the underlying intention of giving feedback in the first place.

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By Jonathan London   January 22, 2013   Category: Ego, Goals & Purpose, Organizational Development, Team Building   8 Comments comments

The Power of Vulnerability

iStock_000017496084_ExtraSmallLAL executive coach Marc-Andre Olivier explores the power we gain by allowing ourselves to be vulnerable in the workplace.

It was the standard CEO kick-off speech launching our WeLead training program. My client (the CEO) came in and spoke to his team about the transitions they were facing as an organization, what some of their goals were and how LaL’s leadership training aligned with that. He mentioned to the group that he and his senior team had been through the training themselves, and described how it had dramatically changed the way they worked together; the value gained beyond the workplace and the significant difference it had made in his personal life.  He then encouraged his team to take full advantage of the opportunity available.

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By Marc-Andre Olivier   March 16, 2012   Category: Changing Behaviors, Ego, Organizational Development, Team Building, Transformational Leadership   10 Comments comments

Ego-Free Leadership

iStock_000013979109_ExtraSmallWelcome to the next installment of an ongoing series of FAQ blogs about the core principles of LaL’s methodology. In this FAQ, CEO Shayne Hughes looks at the ego and its impact on leadership.

In the executive coaching I do as part of my job at Learning as Leadership, I’m continually reminded of the impact that our egos have on our leadership. I’m often engaged in a discussion about this with my clients, and I’ve noticed that some common questions arise. Below is an FAQ guide on the ego and leadership. I’d love to hear your feedback or any additional questions you have on the topic.

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By Shayne Hughes   March 6, 2012   Category: Changing Behaviors, Ego, Goals & Purpose, Organizational Development, Team Building, Transformational Leadership   10 Comments comments

Why Venting Is A Trust Buster

All About BusinessI recently worked with a leadership team who had a history of triangulation and venting. They decided that in order to accomplish their organization’s objectives, they needed to have greater trust and transparency among them.

This type of venting takes place on teams all the time. Although we often don’t mean it to be harmful, this back-end venting can turn out to be toxic. When we seek satisfaction with someone who can’t solve the problem, rather than address the issues with someone who can, we passively perpetuate dissatisfaction with the person or situation.

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By Carole Levy   February 2, 2012   Category: Changing Behaviors, Ego, Organizational Development, Team Building, Transformational Leadership   30 Comments comments

The ROI of Leadership – 3 Steps to Measuring Your Worth as a Leader

Success flow chart on a blackboardHow do you measure your worth as a leader?

I coach a lot of leaders who express concerns that they don’t know how to measure their contributions to the organization and their people.

They worry they’ve become one of “those” people at the top of the food chain who doesn’t really do anything, one of those people they may even have been judging and criticizing as ineffective and worthless to the company because they create work for others, but don’t actually DO anything.

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By Laura Gates   January 23, 2012   Category: Changing Behaviors, Ego, Goals & Purpose, Team Building, Transformational Leadership   13 Comments comments

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